Forum Tool Kit

It's darn hard work being a professional forumite. Every time you need to make sure those uneducated plebs recognise your greatness, you have to write a pompous 150000 word essay on why the verts on Dawns toenails are more shiny than V6's lactimals ever will be. Whats more even annoying is it's exactly the same as you wrote last time. Thats time wasted that could be spend on grander, more important projects, like polishing a nipple bump map or slating content creators. Because, and lets face it, those people clearly don't have a clue faced with your immense level of skill, knowledge and education. Honestly here, they wouldn't recognise Alan Alda if they saw him riding a pink pony naked around a temple. Wouldn't it be great if technology could come to your rescue, to give you more time on the important things, like drinking coffee and eating popcorn. Well now it can, because those nice folks at NASA have been busy working on some new hardware designed to make your life even amazing than it is now. Best of all it's 125% free! So go treat yourself yourself with the following usefull tools. Plus theres a mystery free extra as well. Yep, thats right, This freebie comes with a freebie!
The WindMachine
Do you really need to talk out of your rear or shout ? Well now you can with the WindMachine. With an added BS mixer, adjustable flow thingy and hot air generator you'll win every debate going. If you don't then this freebie comes with a 500% money back promise. Yep, you could get back 500% of nothing!
The Stuck Record
Don't fancy repeating the same arguement again over which wether Studio or Poser is bestest, can't be bothered to flog a dead horse so it's even deader than last time? Then what you need is the stuck record. Simply post this in any thread to win friends and influence people.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard that forum BS before